The dog always has a spot on the couch when I visit my mom. He acts like he owns the place. Some people might not think much of it, but for me, it\u2019s a big bother. I\u2019ve been letting it bother me for years. Since I have a young daughter and have been diagnosed with OCD, sitting on a couch where a dog has been is not only painful, it\u2019s unbearable. Still, my mom doesn\u2019t seem at all upset.\n\n\n\n

There it was again: my mom on the couch with her dog Charlie curled up next to her. I had just walked through the door when I saw it. I felt a sharp, familiar wave of anger hit me. This wasn\u2019t just any couch; it was the main piece of furniture in her living room and where friends and family sat. She thought of Charlie as a furry member of the family and curled up with her as if it were the best thing in the world.\n\n\n\n

I told her again, maybe a thousand times, that I couldn\u2019t sit where he did. She just laughed and looked up, saying, \u201cThat OCD will kill my daughter.\u201d Being around dog germs will only make you and your daughter stronger. \u201cCome here, my dear!\u201d\n\n\n\n

I got very angry. When she saw me, my OCD was just a weird bother, something to laugh about. But it was important to me. I couldn\u2019t get rid of the constant, annoying feeling that I was dirty and germ-filled after getting off that couch. Were you the only one who thought dogs and other animals would do better in the yard?\n\n\n\n

I told her one last time, \u201cMom, I\u2019m sorry to say this a thousand times, but it\u2019s not about how you feel; it\u2019s about how I feel.\u201d \u201cThis dog better get off the couch while I\u2019m here, or I\u2019m leaving.\u201d\n\n\n\n

Her face changed. I had hoped for a warm, understanding look, but I got\u2026 After taking a deep breath, she looked at me with a steady gaze. \u201cMary, Charlie is my best friend.\u201d He\u2019s family. I\u2019m not locking him up just because you\u2019re here\u2026 You have to let him in, or\u2026\n\n\n\n

I just stood there and stared as her voice stopped. I felt like a wall was rising between us. It was stronger and harder than ever. Charlie was more important to her than my safety and comfort in her home. I chose to teach her a lesson at that very moment.\n\n\n\n

I came up with a simple but useful plan. While she was talking, I told her I had to go get something from the car. As I walked outside, she looked at me funny, but she didn\u2019t think much of it. I made up my mind. I would show her what it\u2019s like to have family members tested if she thought Charlie was family.\n\n\n\n

I left for a while and then came back in a little calmer than before. Charlie was still on the couch when I got back. He looked at me with innocent, wide eyes. I walked right up to the couch, picked him up, and took him outside while locking the door behind me. I looked back and was shocked to see my mom. She jumped up and ran to the door, where she opened it in shock. \u201cHi Brianna! Is this really what you want to do?\u201d\n\n\n\n

\u201cGiving you a choice, Mom,\u201d I told her in a stronger voice than ever. \u201cI\u2019m leaving if Charlie stays in the house.\u201d I stay here if he\u2019s out here. I can\u2019t keep coming over and feeling like I\u2019m not welcome or respected.\n\n\n\n

When my mom looked from me to Charlie, her face showed that she was both hurt and angry. She wasn\u2019t ready for this test, and she didn\u2019t think I\u2019d draw this line. She thought about what she could do for a long time in silence, and I could see her resolve weaken. It was clear that she loved Charlie more than I did. I saw how sad she looked as she slowly shook her head.\n\n\n\n

Oh Brianna, I love you\u2026 She said, \u201cI can\u2019t change who I am, and Charlie is a part of me.\u201d Her voice was shaking with emotion.\n\n\n\n

It was at that point that I realized we were stuck. I always hoped she\u2019d get it and make the small change I needed to really feel at home with her. We both felt misunderstood and unwilling to change, though. I turned away because I could feel how final my choice was.\n\n\n\n

As I walked to my car, my ultimatum really hit me. The question kept coming back: Was I being unreasonable? It could have been just about setting my own limits. I knew that things would never be the same between us in that long, quiet moment.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"