\u201cMom, my boyfriend invited me to go out.\u201d\n\n\n\n
\u201cMy dear, he\u2019ll take you for a drink, then to a hotel, he\u2019ll caress you, take off your clothes, and he\u2019ll get on top of you to make love. If that happens, I\u2019ll DIE!\u201d The next day, the mom asks:\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow was it?\u201d\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou were right, he took me to a hotel, caressed me, undressed me, and when he tried to get on top of me, I told him: \u2018NO CHANCE.\u2019\u201d\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell done, my girl.\u201d\n\n\n\n
Four married men go fishing. After a while, each starts bragging:\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t imagine what I had to do to come fishing! I promised my wife I\u2019d paint the whole house next weekend.\u201d\n\n\n\n
\u201cShe didn\u2019t let me come until I promised to replace all the tiles around the pool.\u201d\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou guys are complaining about trivial things. I had to promise to renovate the kitchen, including changing all the kitchen appliances.\u201d\n\n\n\n
And so they continued fishing until they realized the fourth man hadn\u2019t said anything.\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey, you, don\u2019t try to make us believe you didn\u2019t have to promise anything!\u201d\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, I set the alarm clock to ring at 3:00 AM, and when it rang, I approached my wife and whispered in her ear: \u2018Do we make love or do I go fishing?\u2019 And she replied: \u2018Dress well!\u2019\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"